How Much of A Role Model is Our Media?

How Much of A Role Model is our Media?¬† <<Click to see an article from commonsensemedia.org about the role of media in our kid’s lives and what their suggestions on preventing this from being detrimental to their development. In my opinion some of their ideas are a little extreme but what are your thoughts on the article?

Agree or disagree?

We Can’t Make the Bed, You’re Taking Me To the Ball

For those of you who haven’t watched Matthew Clark re-enact real life conversations he has with his two year old daughter, Coco, where have you been? Joining the list of Youtube stars, Clark along with David Milchard (another grown man who portrays the two year old Coco) are hysterical. Day to day tasks such as fighting with your toddler over wearing pants, might not be as funny if you weren’t watching a scruffy 40 something man playing the anti-trouser, Barbie playing little girl. Here’s a gem from Season Two of Convos With My Two-Year-Old.

Butterfly In The Wind

Nobody wants to argue in front of their kids.

Those couples that don’t have a problem with intense disagreements, violence in the home or financial and personal issues, don’t think it should ever happen and go further to say, if you allow it to happen you are endangering your child’s mental health.

Those couples are right. However, like I said, nobody wants to argue in front of their kids. Nobody wants to make any mistakes at all. But they happen and they happen often. Will you argue in front of your kids at some point no matter what the situation? 99% of the population, yes you in fact will. It then becomes a question of when does it start to affect your child.

I can tell you from everything I’ve researched and read, that this “danger zone” will happen before you notice a difference in your child. It will be slow and gradual. And once it hits that point, it will be extremely difficult to repair.

For all those eternal newlyweds that don’t have any consistent bickering, you will say to those who do, “just stop it” “break up” or even, “why do you need to argue?” Not so easy my friends. The only thing you can really do is watch your child’s¬†face and when they look at you with fear or anger, you turn around, put on your parent hat and say, “I don’t matter right now.” Let¬†your spouse¬†win the fight, lie, give in, walk away. Allow yourself to take the brunt of everything¬†to save your child any pain. From small fights over the meaningless to violent knock down¬†wars, your child is innocent until the day they¬†aren’t and our job as parents is to preserve that innocence¬†for as long as humanly possible. To¬†teach them kindness and cooperation.

Far too many people in the world today struggle because their parents didn’t put them first when they were children. And they saw and heard things they shouldn’t have.

‚ÄúChildren are gifts. They are not ours for the breaking. They are ours for the making.‚ÄĚ
‚Äē¬†¬†¬†¬† Dan Pearce,¬†¬†Single Dad Laughing

Fairy wings and race car dreams for the children. Not a nightmare real or imaginary should they know.

http://www.npr.org/blogs/health/2013/04/29/179237081/shhh-the-kids-can-hear-you-arguing-even-when-theyre-asleep

The More I Know, The Less I Understand

If the truth of the matter is the only one you can trust are your children, does that create an unfair expectation? Is that too much pressure on them?

It does if you use your children to heal yourself. If you use them to fill your voids. If you use them to provide love you are missing.

Children are not made to take care of you. Remember it is the other way around. You child can never feel your desperation or your need because children are naturally prone to provide comfort and caring, it’s in their innocence.

Part of the sacrifice you make for your children is you must always pretend to be strong, whole and sane. Even when you’re not.

Excuse My Growl

Does being a mother and wife in today’s society turn you into a beast?

I was wondering this today. By beast of course I am referring to the archetypal sitcom wife with kids. The no-nonsense matriarch that instills fear in her brood with a simple stare. The woman that disallows fun of any kind and has certainly achieved every nag achievement award possible. She denies her husband sex and affection and basically considers him sub human and too moronic to do anything except help with the man chores of the house. Her children fear crossing her and avoid talking to her unless absolutely necessary.

You know, a beast.

I at once rise up and say, “Nuh uh not me! I’m not like that at all!” But I’m also a new mom and wife. So what if it happens gradually and one day you look in the mirror and you see fangs and a furry face?

It’s the little things that you never used to do. You tell your partner much more often how idiotic he’s being. You are a little too good at your scary voice when putting the kids into¬†time out. Sex is more stressful than it used to be. You talk about bills, learning and the “future” way too much. And sometimes, well, you just sound like a bitch.

How to combat this I wonder? I don’t have an answer, I’m seriously wondering.

All I know is that I want my family to respect and love me. Cherish me. And when speaking about me, using words like, “awesome”, “fun”, and “the best mom ever”. So I find myself having to be especially conscious of how I act and what I say. If some crazy nagging comes flying out of my mouth I have to counteract with a, “let’s eat cookies and run around the house!”

But it’s easy to go too far the other way as well. I’m not 20 anymore and I do have two kids and a relationship. I feel like to some extent, they need me to step up and not just be a mom but be THE mom. I can’t go out drinking to excess, sleep in all day or just have chips for dinner. There are two little lives being shaped by what I do and if that responsibility turns me into a beast…. well, at least I’ll try and be a good-looking one.

A Problem You’ll Probably Never Have

A man sues his wife for giving birth to “ugly” children… and wins! So who’s the bad guy here? Her for having plastic surgery and hiding the fact that she was quite gnarly pre-surgery? Or him… for calling his kids ugly and suing his WIFE about it? I’m on team former uggo myself. Jesus what kind of psychological damage will you go through to find out your dad used your unfortunate physical features as a reason to take your mom to court and the whole world knows about it?… more messed up serial killers in the making, good job.

http://couplesandco.blogspot.ca/2013/11/man-successfully-sues-wife-for-ugly.html