Nobody wants to argue in front of their kids.
Those couples that don’t have a problem with intense disagreements, violence in the home or financial and personal issues, don’t think it should ever happen and go further to say, if you allow it to happen you are endangering your child’s mental health.
Those couples are right. However, like I said, nobody wants to argue in front of their kids. Nobody wants to make any mistakes at all. But they happen and they happen often. Will you argue in front of your kids at some point no matter what the situation? 99% of the population, yes you in fact will. It then becomes a question of when does it start to affect your child.
I can tell you from everything I’ve researched and read, that this “danger zone” will happen before you notice a difference in your child. It will be slow and gradual. And once it hits that point, it will be extremely difficult to repair.
For all those eternal newlyweds that don’t have any consistent bickering, you will say to those who do, “just stop it” “break up” or even, “why do you need to argue?” Not so easy my friends. The only thing you can really do is watch your child’s face and when they look at you with fear or anger, you turn around, put on your parent hat and say, “I don’t matter right now.” Let your spouse win the fight, lie, give in, walk away. Allow yourself to take the brunt of everything to save your child any pain. From small fights over the meaningless to violent knock down wars, your child is innocent until the day they aren’t and our job as parents is to preserve that innocence for as long as humanly possible. To teach them kindness and cooperation.
Far too many people in the world today struggle because their parents didn’t put them first when they were children. And they saw and heard things they shouldn’t have.
“Children are gifts. They are not ours for the breaking. They are ours for the making.”
― Dan Pearce, Single Dad Laughing
Fairy wings and race car dreams for the children. Not a nightmare real or imaginary should they know.